


Grr, Welcome Back Hormomes!!!

by WhenIFindLoveAgain



Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [25]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Romantic Comedy, Bikinis, British Comedy, Clubbing, Coffee, Coffee Shops, Comedy, Comedy RPF, Crush at First Sight, Crushes, Dating, Disasters, Drinking, F/M, Fanfiction Comedy (MICF), Fluff and Humor, Funny, Grandparents & Grandchildren, Humor, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Secret Crush, Sewing, Short & Sweet, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:34:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26250499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain
Summary: After a disastrous night out for Vernon when his mates points out a girl for him to chat up, only to find it's a man in a frock, Vernon thinks his hopes are dashed forever until the granddaughter of the owner of his favourite coffee shops wanders around in a bikini
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Lee Seokmin | DK, Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Original Female Character(s)
Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678627
Kudos: 1





	Grr, Welcome Back Hormomes!!!

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very sweet, nice read. We need more nice, sweet things in the world, so, here we are :) I hope you love it xxx

"Fuck-ing hell!" Vernon's jaw dropped at the sight of the girl across the floor of the club while Joshua wolf-whistled so gently that nobody bar their group heard them, while, Soonyoung and Seokmin and Seungkwan - the three other very rowdy mates - egged him on. 

"That's the sort of chick you need, not that other tart you were with for yonks!" Soonyoung whisper-shouted in his ear.

"Here, here, here, I'll take that -" Seokmin collected Vernon's beer out of his hand. "You start praying -" He pointed to Joshua. "And we'll piss ourselves with excitment." he jutted his thumb back towards himself, Soonyoung and Seungkwan.

Vernon unconciously scrunched his nose, and rolled his eyes, telling them to fuck off while Joshua laughed too but dug in at them, telling them that they were so gross.

"Bit of humor in life doesn't hurt?" Seokmin marked imperiously to Joshua who rolled his eyes and went to kick him in the nads, making Seokmin jump out of the way quickly.

Vernon came back ten minutes later, pale and shaking.

"It's a man." He barely managed in a high-pitched, trembling whisper. 

Joshua, Seungkwan, Seokmin and Soonyoung looked at each other before looking at Vernon. "What?" They all said together.

"It's a man in a fucking frock." Vernon looked like he was going to faint. Joshua and Seungkwan got their arms around him just in case. His hand shook terrible as he raised his now warm beer to his lips for a swig. "It's a fuckin' tranny."

VASTLY inapropriate, but, it set Seungkwan, Seokmin and Soonyoung off cackling like those old witches out of Macbeth, you know, the ones with the calico incontinence knickers and the ones who spread around that you put dock leaf on nettle stings, and cabbage on nappy rash, which was why all Scottish babies in Shakesperian times were running around with arses like a ceaser salad. They also advised to tell if it was raining, hang some lettuce on a hook outside on your verandah, and, if the lettuce was wet, it meant it was raining.

"Should have known I'd come to give with Don't Bring Me Down." Vernon cited the reason with the song by Electric Light Orchestra.

Joshua tried to support him by chattering to him on and off about certain things in English as they drove home - renting flats below and above each other - but he kept giggling.

It seemed to get worse when he turned on the radio and Doja Cat started playing.

"Why are you laughing at her?" Vernon said.

"I'm not, it just reminds me of Seungkwan and his expression when we found out we accidentally spotted a tranny for you to chat up." Joshua grinned broadly.

Vernon sunk ashamedly down into the passenger seat of Joshua's second hand Jaguar. Vernon envied Joshua greatly for this car. So much so that Joshua took pity on him whenever he used to not be lonely and used to have dates and Joshua used to let him drive it for his dates. 

"Sorry for stuffing it up for you, mate, that's our fault." Joshua said as he bid Vernon goodnight at his apartment, having walked up the extra floor to his apartment to have a quick chat before he went back downstairs and tucked himself in, turning off the lights.

"Nah, nah, it's alright." Vernon grinned a bit but it fell when Joshua left.

He still couldn't believe it had happened.

Vernon collapsed diagonally and fully-clothed onto his bed, not bothering to take a shower and wondering if he should ever bother going out again if this was just going to be what happened.

The next morning, he had a very happy surprise.

Well, shock at first.

Vernon was in the old cafe he went to to get his coffee each morning, a crumbling blue-stone building with dusty stained-glass windows and, honestly, it need at least £100,000 pounds spent on it, but, even though it was delapidated, it was still a really nice place and the elderly married couple who ran the cafe and lived with their granddaughter upstairs - family custody arrangement because the parents were both alcoholics and drug-users, apparently - were nice enough and didn't deserve all the stuff that had gone on. 

Vernon was just having a chat to the old man when his granddaughter came down...in a 50's style blue bikini with white polka dots and a sun-hat and big 60's style girl's glasses on the staircase that went to the second floor apartment behind the serving counter. She had long black hair down to her hips and was thin, years of being enrolled in a ballet academy, once, just a paying pupil, now, a enrolled student, destined for greater things and on the academy's pay-roll.

And, just like that, a little spirit ignited up in Vernon's stomach and flew blissfully and excitedly around his body.

Yeah, she was about his age.

If not precisely his age.

"Oh, hey Vernon-hyung." She greeted him, knowing his name. Vernon didn't know hers, but, he thought she was named after a flower. "So, what do you think Grandad?" She twirled around in front of the old man who smiled, if coloured slightly that the young man he saw every morning had just seen his granddaughter in not very much at all.

"Very lovely, my dear, image of your Granny when she was your age." He winked at her, and, the young woman kissed his cheek tenderly before going upstairs.

The old man carried the same sort of glow that Vernon felt inside, but, it radiated from the old man's being lovingly whereas Vernon's was a deep secret.

The old man had two pink spots in his cheeks. "My girl - my wife and my little one - they both like sewing and the old girl said she'd make the little one a bikini like she had back when we first met so she can be the most chic at the swimming pool." The old man chuckled softly, leaning on the counter. "She does look exactly like her Gran, Deiji does."

That's it, Vernon thought to himself. Deiji meant Daisy in English.

Daisy.

Vernon smiled. "She's very nice." 

The old man grinned broadly. "Hands to yourself, now lad, I'm not ready to let her go, yet." He told Vernon sternly, but, it wasn't without kindness. "Still my little girl for the time being."

Both men looked to the ceiling as suddenly the unmistakeable scratch of a vinyl record on a gramophone was heard, and, suddenly, the dulcet and rich Welsh tones of Tom Jones began to play.

"Ah, yes." The old man sighed. He and Vernon both chuckled.

"See you round, lad." The old man nodded to Vernon as he took his leave.

Vernon made sure to come back tomorrow morning, as he always did.

Grr, he thought to himself, dizzy with happiness. Welcome back hormones!!!


End file.
